I just don’t believe that the hair in one’s ears should exceed in length the hair on one’s head.

From:    S
Date:    20 August 2002  05:30To:      JSubject:

J I didn’t give Mum the letter I was just too too scared, really I am. But I do want to mail it. Oh fuck it, I don’t know what to do.

I sent a tentative letter to Aunty Tia asking how she found mum when she was up there recently and I scantily touched on the negativity bit. I received an email this morning, now I know we incorporate our own tone when reading emails but it came across as a bit snotty to me, which made me think maybe mum’s problems are childhood based and Aunty Tia is a lot of them and of course this could be just one giant fucked up leap on my behalf.

Why does ‘family’ have to be so hard? Always disliked Dad’s side, particularly Parker’s- pure snobbery on my behalf- THEY ARE DUMB as…

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Groundless in the Time of the Impossible

Aim For Even: The Daily Dose

While it seems impossible at first,

you soon recognize that with everything

there is a point of balance

and you just have to find it.

(Amy Tan)

Experience has shown me that in each day a point of balance exists no matter how pervasive the impossible.

I find my fulcrum in the unlikeliest of places. It means going groundless as Pema Chödrön calls it.

I must trust in myself, go all in. After all, becoming comfortable with “getting tossed around with right and wrong” is a lifetime experience (Chödrön). No two times are the same but with practice comes acceptance.

Less and less am I concerned with sides. If I’m on one, I am not on the other. I am separate. It seems to me that survival in this physical dimension relies on connecting separate shores.

Maybe staying connected is our #DailyDose of the impossible. After all, each of us…

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Beaming Light A Quote of Wisdom



Wisdom of J

Beaming Light Be Willing


As I walked in gratitude this morning, before the rising dawn, I was reminded to BE WILLING today…

In gratitude, the view expanded, and the deeply meaning things are revealed as I feel the truth form the roots of the thing I call my life.

I feel the magnetic pull of the flow of things today. Create wisely, from the right eye, all that you desire..and with the left eye..ACCEPT all that you created……

We hear Gods voice when Self speaks through our hearts…and in stillness, we feel the extension we are…of God…of Source….of the Creator…..this is the guidance always, that we need to find our way home…

Changes are in the air, we have created this with the Universe…and we are witnessing the response …..

Be willing to touch truth..fairly..and feel the voice of the rising Self in Form..Guiding your awareness …..of this timing.

“There was a charm in being reborn into the world when one was old enough to appreciate it.” 
Thomm QuackenbushDanse Macabre (Night’s Dream, #2)

Truths open doors to the wealth of slumbering knowledge. This knowledge is not learned …it truly awakens within us, as we step fully into our unknown becoming KNOWN. We extend our reach…extend our acceptance…. WHILE  moving forward, whatever that direction is….

The Christ-Consciousness awakens within us…as patterns of Wholeness. We are RE-BORN into these timelines, to discover our ONENESS with God…our Creator/Source….TO BRING The Spirit to Earth…

Allowing the Self comfort, the Self Love, we assist this process to unfold naturally where we move from time and space ….to…ETERNITY. Peaceful calm, allows us to feel what comes up in this process truthfully….. there is no urging for movement or relocating…we are HERE NOW..in this Moment…becoming new…transforming our entire everything. New information comes easily, as we allow our moments of meditation or stillness…void of habitual need to stay motivated. We already are motivated, or we would not be here now……

We are BORN NEW…born to new truth and wisdom…..  of being born to new life and new ways to be this New HUman Being species, in a world that has never been before now…for we have not lived it to Life yet. This is us….inspired to do so….we are ready……

 “Everywhere we shine, death and life burn into something new…” 
AberjhaniElemental: The Power of Illuminated Love

Be Willing……….



Beaming Light Horrible Relief


** This is a conversation shared At the Table two years ago. This came to me this morning…after sharing a conversation with a friend yesterday…as she gracefully stepped into acceptance…she told me…”what a horrible relief”…

I immediately understood, and felt the energy…and awakening is still that…a horrible relief…but as we continue to awaken at new elevations, we allow new observations of this process, and the acceptance comes easy…softly…deeply…for we now see that WE are each activating the next step in the process, and how we ACCEPT and RESPOND to the process, at each elevation, is how we experience the next shift of the Self in Form….

I was guided to share this conversation again, for the  travelers newly awakening, and for those that simply would like a space for a deeper breath…I am honored to share it here today……** Namaste’

Today’s conversation comes from an awareness..perfect and true..that awakening IS a horrible RELIEF. Like waiting for the right moment that is really just you waiting to let go of the fear to see the truth..then..The way is ILLUMINATED  by your sheer exhaustion from hiding your eyes…

Many visitors have shared recently their awakening stories..all very intense and some very dimensional…some have much drama, some are immediately healed…ALL of us TELLING STORIES.

The Horrible is the loss that seems to be a pattern in this process….the loss of family and friends..be it by our decisions or theirs. The loss of jobs and homes..and most of all..the loss of who we thought we were… the seemingly time wasted. All the programmed patterns that must be illuminated to be eliminated……the Horrible is we realize the immense struggles we traveled through..in ILLUSION. We THOUGHT we were LIVING..when in fact..none of it turns out real.

The RELIEF is the acceptance and the peace that comes from this process..when we step in grace to our true BEING…we are through it..we are still alive..living with a clear and present knowing…a deeper acceptance..of not just ourselves..and it must start there, but a deeper awareness of others truths as well..and their struggles, for we all have them,and then you go to a higher dimension of consciousness, where literally all that HORRIBLE realization is created into a beautiful masterpiece..like a raw and twisted piece of burl wood..that once care is given and its skin is polished, its brilliance is shown ..the beauty captivates your heart and then the story can be told..with new breath, new acceptance..a grace that we had hidden away JUST FOR THIS OCCASION.

 Stop chasing what your mind wants and you’ll get what your Soul needs

Awakening is not easy..ITS NOT PRETTY, ITS RAW AND TWISTED, it’s a mess..unless it isn’t..but we all have the scars of the journey., and they cannot be dressed in pretty bows..until you look at the raw and twisted truths and then the polishing can begin..and the twisted truth..illusion, can be loved into this masterpiece called your awakened life…what a relief..

“No matter how awakened you are, the conditioning roots are deep; very deep. Reclamation is a constant process.”

― Bryant McGill, Simple Reminders: Inspiration for Living Your Best Life

You do not think yourself awake, you find yourself knee deep in confusion. You do not know you are stuck until you are in the middle of the mud….and drowning. It is simply timed within your Soul..the mission of the Soul, to experience Its own Self through this Human Being  on Earth.

“Consciousness is non-physical.

You are the witness of the wonder.

You are in your own world. You are free. You are liberated. You are nothing to do with anything.”

― Michael Mackintosh, You Are Not A Person


To perceive this truth..”you are nothing to do with anything”….melds consciousness and acceptance…what a relief…..Unity….

We share these stories today At the Table, for all those newly awakening, and for a gentle reminder to all… that this process..this awareness of each to  the Souls that they are…is indeed very personal, and is to be honored. We share with you the immense joy that comes from our hearts to witness such awakenings. We understand …we paved this path..all for ourselves, from the Masters of the past before us…that too..paved their own paths… and now you have the blueprints ..there is indeed a manual for awakening..it lives within each of you..read the book..sitting on the twisted raw burlwood..and you will begin to experience your given knowledge. What a horrible relief indeed….

Thank you for joining us today At the Table, where we are honored and grateful to share what is On my Plate. This time on Earth is chaotic and calm, is of war and of peace, is absolutely perfect and we must all unconditionally accept what we, as each individual chooses to experience. It is all such ..as it needs to be…grow within, dance to your own harmony…struggle as much or as little as is required to pave your own journey. Illuminate the peace and the Love within your hearts dear fellow travelers..we have come such a very long way to find….. Home….Namaste’

May the Long Time Sun
Shine upon you
All love surround you
And the pure light
within you
Guide your way on
Guide your way on

May the Long Time Sun
Shine upon you
All love surround you
And the pure light
within you
Guide your way on
Guide your way on

But I’m just a cold fish.

From:    S
Date:    16 August 2002 11:23 AMTo:      JSubject:

Hi Babe, Mum got off  last night all ok.  God the guilt I feel, how is it at the age of 33 our parents can still mind fuck me.  Mum’s sport it would seem is to mess with my psychological state.  I miss her when I don’t see her but am decimated by her when I am with her, why does she find it so hard to tell me she love me bla bla bla bla.  Have a look at the *letter I wrote to her, (haven’t given it to her yet) what do you think?


I love you so much, but it is so difficult to talk to you face to face. The time never seems right. But there are some things that I do need you to hear and maybe this letter will let you take…

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